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Commentary:
"Ah, the pasta noodles finally getting a glimpse of the world outside their box prison! 🍝🌎 Thanks to capitalism, they can now dream of al dente adventures and sauce-y escapades! Who knew transparency could be so deliciously entertaining? 😄"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

1 month ago
cholesterol, food, health, heart, humor, irony, joke, love, place, special
If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

1 month ago
around, bit, entertainment, flight, fly, humor, movie, notification, pick, pilot, time, travel
There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

1 month ago
behavior, dog, dogs, drug-sniffing, drug-sniffing dog, guide, guide dog, humor, life, pet, pet behavior, pets, poop, save
Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

1 month ago
advice, baby, carpet, confidence, empowerment, flag, humor, let, red, red carpet, red flag, relationship, relationship advice, self-worth, treat, whole
Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

1 month ago
activity, cardio, exercise, fun, fun activity, kids, parenting, struggle, summer, sunscreen
Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

2 months ago
analogy, driving, fear, highway, humor, journey, life, merge

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

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But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

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I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Shared recently on Facebook:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Spotted on Reddit:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Breaking via Pinterest:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Just shared via X:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

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The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

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The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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