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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Spotted on Instagram:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Shared recently on Discord:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Spotted on Twitch:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Trending via TikTok:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Making waves on X:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

13 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about circus monkeys acting out, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the monkeys broke out of the board meeting again! 🙈🐒🎪

action, actions, being, circus, humor, monkey, statement, taken

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13 shares on Messenger this month:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

99 shares on Threads this month:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

50 shares on Slack this month:

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

98 shares on X this month:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

99 shares on X this month:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Going viral on TikTok:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Making waves on Snapchat:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Making waves on WeChat:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Spotted on Messenger:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Keep the laugh going 😂

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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