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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,012

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Making waves on Twitch:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Just landed via Discord:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

4 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Grandpa starts telling tales about the legendary Wii, you know you're in for a saga longer than any Zelda game! 🎮🧓✨

elder, game, gaming, generation, nostalgia, reverence, video, video game, Wii, Zoomer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

1 month ago

disappointment, entertainment, every, except, humor, movie, Netflix, streaming, want, watch
My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

2 months ago

3, 3 AM, am, daughter, experience, humor, i, know, let, me, parent, parenting, sleep, wake, wake up, woke
If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

2 months ago

know, let, let go, people, relationships, self-worth, someone, spend, time
If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

3 months ago

attraction, dating, deserve, desire, handle, honesty, humor, love, me, personality, relationship, worst
My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

4 months ago

frustration, humor, job, job frustration, morning, morning routine, motivation, myself, quitting, quitting job, routine, self, self-talk, talk, talking, work, work humor
The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

3 weeks ago

band, concert, giant, giant magnet, guitar, hands, humor, i, influence, magnet, music, shows, The Velvet Underground, underground, velvet

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Just landed via Threads:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Shared recently on Discord:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

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The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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