Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Making waves on X:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Trending via WeChat:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Breaking via Telegram:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Going viral on Messenger:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Trending via Threads:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Just landed via Slack:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text questioning how headache medicine works, with a humorous, playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why does aspirin always take the scenic route to my stomach first? 🧭🤔💊

exactly, headache, humor, medicine, question, stomach

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Instagram this month:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

46 shares on Discord this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

44 shares on Slack this month:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

12 shares on Threads this month:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

18 shares on WeChat this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

16 shares on Discord this month:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Making waves on Facebook:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Spotted on Telegram:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Live now on Telegram:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Making waves on Discord:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Shared recently on YouTube:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Spotted on Instagram:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨