Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Seen just now on X:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Spotted on Discord:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Going viral on TikTok:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Just shared via Messenger:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Breaking via YouTube:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why does aspirin always take the scenic route to my stomach first? 🧭🤔💊

exactly, headache, humor, medicine, question, stomach

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

2 months ago

bad, beautiful, cyberbullying, digital, digital life, good, humor, interaction, life, media, nothing, online, online interaction, scrolling, self-esteem, social, social media, take, woman
If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

2 months ago

buy, emotions, food, moment, proud, sad, self-control, snack, snacks, temptation
Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

2 months ago

anger, better, cleaning, frustration, household, humor, motivation, nobody, pissed, productivity, someone
Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

2 months ago

blocked, blocking, correcting, correction, great, humor, irony, just, media, mistakes, satisfaction, social, social media, someone, spelling
Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

2 months ago

animals, crossing, entitlement, family, goose, humor, nature, nothing, road, sarcasm
It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

2 months ago

cold, dark, humor, me, outside, relationship, think, weather, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on YouTube this month:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Weirdos gonna weird.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

65 shares on X this month:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

89 shares on Slack this month:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

70 shares on Threads this month:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Spotted on TikTok:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Live now on Snapchat:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Going bananas on YouTube:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Going viral on Discord:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨