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🤹‍♂️🎄Parenting is a true test of letting go – especially when those ornaments are hanging by a thread and your inner perfectionist is screaming! Just remember, it's all part of the holiday charm, right? Who knew that teaching patience could be so festive? 🤪🎅

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The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

1 month ago
activity, affectionate, best, cuddle, done, fun, fun activity, humor, intimacy, lighthearted, ones, relationship, where
Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

1 month ago
buy, buying, eat, having, Lil, little, need, not having, snack, snacks, worst
(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

3 months ago
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I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

1 month ago
black, black and white, enough, humor, memory, nostalgia, old, rainbow, remember, white
A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

5 months ago
again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

1 month ago
dark, dark humor, every, family, food, funny thought, grape, hear, humor, humor about food, imagination, imagine, soft, son, thought, time, voice, whisper

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

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have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

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9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

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Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

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Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

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I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

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The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

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Breaking via WhatsApp:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Trending via Messenger:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

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The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

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The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

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