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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny pun about valuable cows, highlighting humor and clever wordplay.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Move over, regular cows, the Cash cows are here to moooo-tivate the herd! 🐄💰 Who needs milk when you can have money? 😂💸 #CashCows"

breed, cash, cow, humor, joke, pun, value

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

20 hours ago

comedy, derail, humor, joke, mental, survivor, thought, train, wordplay
If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

1 week ago

destroy, dog, dogs, humor, i, life, materialism, money, much, pets, possessions, pretty, same, stuff
He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

2 weeks ago

call, compliment, confidence, flirtation, gorgeous, humor, me, nerve, pretty, self-esteem
My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

1 week ago

cursing, finance, funny week, having, humor, jar, language, money, profitable, swear, swear jar, week
Sane is boring.

23 hours ago

boring, fun, humor, personality, sane
Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

2 weeks ago

advantages, being, fat, humor, i, last, lazy, procrastination, self-deprecation, still, winter, year

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

37 shares on Facebook this month:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Sane is boring.

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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