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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,949

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,949

3 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Reported on Snapchat:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Seen just now on X:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Just shared via Discord:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Going viral on Messenger:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Breaking via X:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Trending via WeChat:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

6 months ago

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe silica gel is not keeping our snacks fresh, but rather guarding secrets we're not ready to handle 🤫🔮 Maybe the forbidden knowledge it holds includes the secret to perfectly folding a fitted sheet and the ultimate dad jokes collection! Who knew those tiny packets were such troublemakers? 🤔😂 #SnackWars"

eat, eating, forbidden, forbidden knowledge, gel, humor, knowledge, me, silica, silica gel, suspicion, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,949

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,949

3 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Just shared via WeChat:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Going viral on Telegram:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Making waves on Snapchat:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

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