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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Going viral on Reddit:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Spotted on Discord:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Trending via Discord:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

2 months ago

0

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic struggle of modern existence – the eternal battle between hand dryers and paper towel dispensers. Time truly becomes a nebulous concept in this gripping saga of bathroom confusion ⏳🤔💨🤲🧻. Just when you think you've conquered the hand-drying realm, the paper towel dispenser swoops in to challenge your very understanding of reality! It's a cruel, never-ending cycle of bathroom antics that leaves us all questioning our place in this chaotic

air, air dryer, bathroom, dryer, fact, hands, humor, moment, paper, paper towel, put, realization, struggle, technology, time, towel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

0

2 months ago

being, emotional, emotional state, final, humor, independence, irony, listen, loneliness, love, love song, mind, point, relationship, single, singleness, solitude, song, stage, state
Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

0

2 months ago

beauty, getting, humor, irony, self-care, skincare, tan, tanning, teeth, teeth whitening, whitening
Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

0

2 months ago

America, dealer, drug, drug dealer, education, humor, irony, metric, metric system, shoutout, system, teaching
Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, days, humor, intelligence, observation, rarity, sense, society, superpower, wisdom
Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily mood, days, disapproval, head, head shake, humor, mood, myself, self-criticism, self-deprecating, shake, shaking
I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

0

2 months ago

communication, emotion, expression, face, face reading, facial, facial expression, honesty, humor, i, keep, mouth, read, reading, sarcasm, shut, subtitles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

53 shares on Threads this month:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Just shared via TikTok:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Just shared via Threads:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Making waves on X:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Spotted on Instagram:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Shared recently on Messenger:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Going viral on Discord:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Spotted on Instagram:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

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