Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Just shared via Instagram:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Making waves on Pinterest:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Trending via Telegram:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Just shared via YouTube:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Trending via Twitch:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Trending via WeChat:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
When you misread 'misread,' did you actually reread the misread, or is it a misreading misread? 🤔📚😂

humor, language, misread, pun, reading, spelling, word, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

1 day ago

back, drama, everyone, hours, humor, just, media, quit, return, separation, social, social media, trial
I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

2 days ago

deleted, enough, humor, i, know, media, never, permanence, regret, self-awareness, should, social, social media, tattoo, tweet, Tweets
“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

2 months ago

after, better, communication, confession, hit, humor, i, left, media, message, mistake, myself, regret, self-talk, send, social, social media, texting, things, think, unsaid
You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

15 hours ago

able, bar, conversation, event, Google, humor, last, memory, night, said, should, social, social event, someone
What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

1 week ago

bag, baguette, female, food, food joke, humor, joke, mean, misunderstanding, wordplay
Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

1 hour ago

animal, cat, cleaning, couch, hair, humor, humorously, i, judging, left, mess, pet, surprise

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

83 shares on Threads this month:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Seen just now on Threads:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Just shared via Threads:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Shared recently on Discord:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Going bananas on X:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Live now on Facebook:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Just shared via TikTok:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨