Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"The world definitely needs to hit pause and take a chill pill before we overload the poor future history teachers with our present shenanigans! 🌍🤯 #HistoryLessonsForDays"

chill, future, history, needs, nonsense, semester, teacher, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

0

2 months ago

capture, effort, family, feel, hours, humor, i, parenting, photographer, photography, smile, spend, teenager, trying, wildlife
My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

0

3 months ago

diet, eating, hours, humor, journey, just, loss, meal, meals, three, time, weight, weight loss
When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

0

2 months ago

around, awareness, dead, death, existential, hard, humor, irony, know, life, perspective, same, stupid, stupidity
Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

0

2 months ago

behavior, care, fun, humor, introvert, just, know, privacy, social, social behavior, too
Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

0

2 months ago

around, bird, flying, humor, love, me, metaphor, moving, relationship
Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

0

2 months ago

balance, ball, bat, days, downs, fun, humor, life, perspective, sports, ups, ups and downs

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

95 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

18 shares on Messenger this month:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Going bananas on Slack:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Making waves on X:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Going viral on Facebook:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Breaking via Discord:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨