Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.
  • He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.
  • Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.
  • I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.
  • If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.
  • I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.