Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

16 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Just landed via Messenger:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Trending via Twitch:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Making waves on Instagram:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

5 months ago

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like someone is looking for a shocking solution to their problems! ⚡️😂 Maybe they've been binging too many sci-fi movies where memory wipes are the ultimate quick fix! 🎬💥 Just don't go sticking your finger in the electric socket, okay? It's not the zap you're looking for! 😉🔌

electrocution, enough, health, humor, i, joke, memory, mental, mental health, need, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

16 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Trending via TikTok:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Trending via X:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Going viral on X:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Live now on YouTube:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Going viral on Facebook:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

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