Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.
  • After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.
  • Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
  • And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”
  • I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.
  • Not going is the new leaving early.