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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,232

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Breaking via Threads:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Making waves on YouTube:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Spotted on Facebook:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Running low on filters and raw-dogging life like it's a new adventure! 😜📸✨"

authenticity, confidence, filter, here, honesty, just, no filter, pics, raw-dogging, self-expression, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

0

2 months ago

binge, binge-watching, entertainment, fast, getting, habit, i, nothing, sad, sadness, sery, show, too, toxic, toxic trait, trait, TV, TV sery, watch, watching
Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

0

2 months ago

bee, exercise, huge, humor, morning, nature, run
Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

0

2 months ago

blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, person, pick, problems, responsibility, sarcasm, stop
The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

0

2 months ago

curiosity, early, early human, ever, hell, human, humor, ok, person, reaction, surprise, throw, vomiting
I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

0

2 months ago

back, being, cartoon, cat, cats, doing, humor, i, jerry, job, lazy, mouse, noticed, pets, problem, tom, Tom and Jerry, yelling
It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, around, audacity, crowd, i, peopling, rude, social, somewhere, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

76 shares on WeChat this month:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

57 shares on Discord this month:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Trending via Slack:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Spotted on Slack:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Going viral on Reddit:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Making waves on Discord:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨