These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.