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Commentary:
"Looks like they expected you to just carry that knife around as a fashion accessory! 🔪😂 Who knew cutting ties could be so literal? Snip, snip! ✂️ #Savage"

back, betrayal, cut, humor, knife, mad, relationships, ty, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, button, computer, convenience, every, humor, i, internet, irony, just, keep, love, me, signed, signed in, straight, website
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

0

2 months ago

card, convenience, getting, getting up, humor, online, online shopping, procrastination, shopping, wallet, worst, worst part
We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

0

2 months ago

able, amazing, attitude, call, call in sick, feel, health, healthy, humor, i, motivation, productivity, should, sick, today, wasting, work
I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

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2 months ago

humor, i, irony, justice, keep, law, little, notebook, observation, track, tracking
Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

0

2 months ago

cell, cell phone, comedy, distraction, humor, i, irony, phone, put, ring, rings, technology, yes
One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

0

2 months ago

addiction, anything, chocolate, craving, eye, hear, humor, i, left, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

69 shares on X this month:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

30 shares on Threads this month:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Going viral on WeChat:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Shared recently on Discord:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Spreading quickly via X:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Seen just now on Discord:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨