Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,338

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Seen just now on Threads:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Spotted on Slack:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Going viral on Telegram:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Trending via Telegram:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Making waves on X:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Making waves on YouTube:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Shared recently on Threads:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you reach peak 'todaying' and your couch starts calling your name 😅🛋️🔔

casual, casual conversation, conversation, enough, humor, procrastination, think, today, todaying, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

0

2 months ago

anger, annoyance, different, frustration, home, humor, own, parking, parking space, someone, space, taking, type
I overthink, therefore I am.

0

2 months ago

am, existence, humor, i, identity, irony, overthink, philosophy, self-reflection, thought
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

0

2 months ago

electrons, humor, intelligence, joke, moron, neutrons, physics, protons, science, universe
When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

0

2 months ago

context, date, humor, i, rejection, relationship, right, silent, someone, want
Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

0

2 months ago

again, allergy, friend, hello, humor, nose, old, pollen, running, sneeze, spring
My life coach traded me.

0

2 months ago

coach, coaching, humor, irony, life, life coach, me, relationships, self-help, trade

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

14 shares on Messenger this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

15 shares on X this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Making waves on YouTube:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Just shared via Instagram:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Trending via Snapchat:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Just shared via Facebook:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Seen just now on Slack:

I need money, not feelings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

I overthink, therefore I am.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

My life coach traded me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨