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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has downloaded:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Facebook:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Just landed via Threads:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Live now on Snapchat:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Just shared via Telegram:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Making waves on Facebook:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said β€œbreast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.
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Commentary:
Oh, the harsh reality of aging and its impact on our once youthful energy levels! πŸŒ™πŸ’€ It's like our bodies decide to hit the snooze button on staying up all night as we get older. πŸš«πŸ¦‰ Despite the transformation, we can still rock a bedtime routine like nobody's business! πŸ’ͺπŸ˜‚ #NightOwlNoMore

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has shared:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

If you say β€œawesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has shared:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has copied:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has shared:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Messenger:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Trending via Reddit:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Making waves on Discord:

Living la vida taco!

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Just shared via Messenger:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Breaking via Telegram:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Just landed via Discord:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Freshly posted on X:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

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