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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Seen just now on Messenger:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Shared recently on X:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Going bananas on Discord:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Spotted on Instagram:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the harsh reality of aging and its impact on our once youthful energy levels! 🌙💤 It's like our bodies decide to hit the snooze button on staying up all night as we get older. 🚫🦉 Despite the transformation, we can still rock a bedtime routine like nobody's business! 💪😂 #NightOwlNoMore

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

Trending via Threads:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Freshly posted on X:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Trending via Discord:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Making waves on Telegram:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Live now on WeChat:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Just shared via YouTube:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

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