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Commentary:
"Looks like we've hit a bump in the space-time continuum, Marty! 🕰️🔥 Doc would definitely have some choice words for this situation 🤔 #BackToThePresent"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

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2 months ago

business, career, career change, change, half, hogan, Hulk, Hulk Hogan, humor, i, job, job search, looking, mean, motivation, new, relief, ripping, search, shirt, shirt ripping, short, story, stress, stress relief, workplace, workplace humor
Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

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2 months ago

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The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

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2 months ago

employees, employer, humor, paper, question, relationship, toilet, toilet paper, value, workplace
Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

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2 months ago

diet, fat, food, gone, humor, i, joke, roll, rolls, spring, winter
The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

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2 months ago

experience, hallucination, headphones, humor, isolation, music, people, perception, shouting, thing, why, worst
If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Seen just now on Threads:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Just shared via WeChat:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

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Activity Log ✨

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨