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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Going viral on Snapchat:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Seen just now on X:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Going viral on Discord:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Trending via Facebook:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Just landed via Discord:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

1 week ago

Funny text about tape humorously comparing it to scotch in a playful way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, well, well, it seems like someone's disappointed in their snack selection 🤭🥃 Who knew scotch tape wasn't on the menu for today's gourmet tasting session? Better luck next time, tape connoisseur! 🍽️😜"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that the original Scotch tape was invented in 1930 by a man named Richard Drew? It was initially created for the automotive industry to help with paint jobs, but it quickly became popular for household use! 🎨📏🛠️

even, humor, joke, scotch, tape, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

94 shares on Slack this month:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Making waves on Slack:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Trending via Facebook:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Making waves on Threads:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

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