Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Let's be real, if you're gonna set something on fire, might as well make sure it's contained in a dumpster, right? 🗑️🔥 Safety first, folks! 😂"

absurdity, context, dumpster, fair, fire, humor, irony, places, safety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

0

2 months ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, personal, personal safety, recreational, relief, safety, smoke, stress, stress relief, weed
Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

0

2 months ago

activity, bikini, DM, DMs, flirt, fun, fun activity, humor, media, put, run, social, social media, through
I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

0

2 months ago

asked, dad, equality, family, favorite, favorite joke, humor, i, joke, love, parenting, pick, sister
I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, bad, bad decision, choices, decision, humor, i, life, life choices, need, self-awareness
Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

0

2 months ago

care, child, funny situation, getting, health, health care, humor, immunizations, inappropriate, office, parenting, pediatrician, shots, situation, yell
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

0

5 months ago

couple, humor, irony, love, married, need, ones, people, relationship, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

92 shares on Threads this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Going bananas on Slack:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Going viral on Instagram:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Trending via Pinterest:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Just shared via X:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Just landed via Twitch:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Trending via Threads:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨