Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Life's too short to wait for tomorrow, gobble up that cake 🍰 like there's no calorie counter lurking around! Who knows, maybe the promise of tomorrow is simply a delicious slice away 😉🎂 #CarpeCake #LiveSweetly"

cake, eat, enjoy, humor, indulge, life, promise, today, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

0

2 weeks ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

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4 weeks ago

awesome, confidence, humor, joke, just, kidding, me, motivation, new, new me, new year, self-esteem, year
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

0

2 months ago

best, best friend, cheese, comparison, diamonds, food, friend, friendship, girl, girls, humor, love, never, shredded, shredded cheese, snack
They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, convenience, else, humor, invention, items, scan, self-checkout, shopping, should, someone, where
For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, anything, conversation, conversations, humor, joke, listen, listening, making, male, male version, privacy, technology, version, want
I have to pee. Story of my life.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, life, pee, story, urgency

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

72 shares on X this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

61 shares on Facebook this month:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

90 shares on Threads this month:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Live now on X:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Trending via Telegram:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Breaking via Slack:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨