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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Trending via Pinterest:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Just shared via YouTube:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Making waves on Messenger:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Just landed via Slack:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Just landed via WeChat:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Making waves on TikTok:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

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Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?
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Commentary:
🌟 Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting the benefits of Ozempic but not quite ready to commit to the whole strict diet and exercise routine. 🍔🏋️‍♂️ Maybe there's a mysterious third option involving magical chocolate that burns calories while you eat it? 🍫✨ Or perhaps a gym where the weights lift themselves? 💪😅 Oh, the search for that elusive shortcut continues! 🕵️‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

35 shares on Discord this month:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

94 shares on Discord this month:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

84 shares on X this month:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Going viral on Slack:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Just shared via Telegram:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Breaking via Threads:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Spotted on Slack:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Trending via WeChat:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Just shared via Slack:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

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