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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

12 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Breaking via WeChat:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Going viral on Slack:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Making waves on Slack:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Trending via Discord:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Making waves on WeChat:

Fries, not lies.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

6 months ago

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

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Commentary:
🌟 Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting the benefits of Ozempic but not quite ready to commit to the whole strict diet and exercise routine. 🍔🏋️‍♂️ Maybe there's a mysterious third option involving magical chocolate that burns calories while you eat it? 🍫✨ Or perhaps a gym where the weights lift themselves? 💪😅 Oh, the search for that elusive shortcut continues! 🕵️‍♂️

diet, exercise, humor, option, Ozempic, poor, secret, strict, third, too, undisciplined

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

12 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Seen just now on Instagram:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Just landed via Twitch:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Reported on X:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Reported on WeChat:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

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