Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Making waves on Twitch:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Spotted on Instagram:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Making waves on Messenger:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

0
Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my laptop decided to go incognito… permanently! ☀️🤣💻

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,575

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Live now on Instagram:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Spotted on Messenger:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Trending via Discord:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Breaking via Twitch:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴