Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Trending via TikTok:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Breaking via Facebook:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Making waves on Messenger:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Spotted on Facebook:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, Tuesday, the microwave meal of weekdays! 🍕🔁😄

another, humor, just, Monday, reheated, repetition, tired, Tuesday, weekday, workweek

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

0

2 months ago

bar, crumbs, DIY, food, granola, humor, nature, Nature Valley, resourcefulness, snack, three, valley
Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

0

1 month ago

academic, academic career, career, comparison, humor, love, pursuit, stripper, thinking
Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, ask, babysitter, being, home, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, responsibility, should
My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

0

2 months ago

calligrapher, comparison, dad, family, handwriting, humor, pharmacist, writing
May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

0

2 months ago

accident, dating, drop, embarrassment, face, funny moment, girls, humor, media, moment, phone, prank, social, social media, texting
It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

0

2 months ago

account, attraction, dating, hot, humor, Instagram, man, me, media, poorly, run, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

61 shares on Twitch this month:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

65 shares on X this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

47 shares on Slack this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Trending via Telegram:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Seen just now on Telegram:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Going viral on Twitch:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Making waves on X:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Going viral on Telegram:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Making waves on X:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨