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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Shared recently on Messenger:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Going viral on YouTube:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Making waves on Discord:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Shared recently on Slack:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Valentine's Day approaching! Quick, if you have a crush on me, there's still time to get cards and shave… well, at least the cards are easier to find! 😂💘 #LastMinuteLove"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,445

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Reddit:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Freshly posted on X:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Just landed via WeChat:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Just landed via YouTube:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Live now on Twitch:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Just landed via Messenger:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Making waves on WeChat:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

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