Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Jan 11, 2026

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Breaking via Threads:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Just shared via Discord:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Spotted on Facebook:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Trending via Discord:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Trending via Facebook:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

2 months ago

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whales be like: 'Sorry, can't talk, I'm on a sabbatical from opinions 🐋✨' Who knew these majestic creatures were the ultimate masters of silence and contemplation! Maybe we should take a cue from them and practice some 'whale wisdom' in our daily lives. Just keep swimming, dear humans, and save those opinions for a rainy day! 🙊🌊"

days, giving, humor, life, marine, marine life, observation, opinion, silence, time, weeks, whale

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

1 month ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, drink, humor, kettle, let, main, me, phrase, put, reasons, say, stuff, tea
If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

2 months ago

bit, cuisine, culinary, dining, food, humor, i, recommend, sarcasm, something, sophisticated, tired, try, want, wit
Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, beaver, carpentry, comparison, funny comparison, humor, just, nature, otter, woodworking
Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

2 months ago

before, childhood, drawing, family, fridge, furious, going, humor, internet, meant, nostalgia, sibling, viral
Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, after, best, best part, car, comfort, day, heated, heated seat, humor, life, life transition, long day, seat, seats, transition, welcome
Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

2 months ago

alone, bed, comfort, cool, ever, humor, personal, personal space, relaxation, self-care, sex, space, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Discord this month:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

17 shares on Facebook this month:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

69 shares on X this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Just shared via TikTok:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Going viral on WeChat:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴