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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Spotted on WeChat:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Trending via Telegram:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Making waves on Twitch:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Breaking via YouTube:

My life coach traded me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

6 months ago

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whales be like: 'Sorry, can't talk, I'm on a sabbatical from opinions 🐋✨' Who knew these majestic creatures were the ultimate masters of silence and contemplation! Maybe we should take a cue from them and practice some 'whale wisdom' in our daily lives. Just keep swimming, dear humans, and save those opinions for a rainy day! 🙊🌊"

days, giving, humor, life, marine, marine life, observation, opinion, silence, time, weeks, whale

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Reported on WeChat:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Reported on Telegram:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Spotted on Reddit:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Going viral on Facebook:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Just landed via X:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Reported on Slack:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

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