Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.
  • I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.
  • Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.
  • I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.
  • I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?
  • April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.