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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you itโ€™s cold out, itโ€™s cold out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

My tattoo means that I canโ€™t be trusted with $200.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Has someone told the whales that they canโ€™t sing?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

โ€œDonโ€™t take this the wrong way!โ€ Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on X:

Buying a new phone isnโ€™t even satisfying anymore. Itโ€™s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Thereโ€™s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Just landed via Slack:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Is โ€˜ughโ€™ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Trending via YouTube:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, Iโ€™d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Just shared via YouTube:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

One day youโ€™re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Making waves on Slack:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, thatโ€™s my way of giving back to society.

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.
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Commentary:
"Perhaps the bug is a ceiling decoration enthusiast, aspiring to take home the gold medal in the 'Hanging Around Olympics.' ๐Ÿž๐Ÿฅ‡ Or maybe it's just contemplating the meaning of life from a different angle. ๐Ÿค” Either way, that bug on your ceiling seems to be aiming for the stars… or the popcorn ceiling, at least! ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿฆ—"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Meteorologist: Itโ€™s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

How is it still this week?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Shared recently on Slack:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Breaking via Discord:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Just landed via X:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Just shared via Reddit:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Trending via Telegram:

Replying to all emails with โ€œya think?โ€.

Trending via Facebook:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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