Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Shared recently on Facebook:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Going viral on Telegram:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Just landed via Twitch:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Seen just now on Twitch:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Spotted on YouTube:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Going viral on Discord:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Trending via WeChat:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Just landed via WeChat:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seriously, is there a broccoli convention going on in there or something? 🥦🪴🤔 #BroccoliOverload #BonsaiVsMouthStruggle"

bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

0

2 months ago

cause, family, house, humor, kids, me, music, parenting, reversed, roles, tell, turn, turn down
An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

0

2 months ago

40, activity, bag, bean, bean bag chair, bed, bouncy, bouncy house, chair, challenge, escape, escape room, fun, fun activity, good, good luck, hammock, house, humor, luck, over, over 40, playful, playful challenge, room, water, water bed
I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

0

3 months ago

agree, agreement, argue, argument, humor, i, just, let, observation, patience, plot, sarcasm
“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

0

2 months ago

another, body, body image, diet, eating, humor, i, image, irony, say, season, summer, swimsuit
I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

0

2 months ago

activity, adulthood, count, errand, going, going out, humor, life, life stage, place, stage
The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

0

2 months ago

collective, collective noun, egosystem, group, humor, joke, narcissist, noun, personality, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Discord this month:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

89 shares on Slack this month:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

94 shares on X this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Breaking via Pinterest:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Spotted on WeChat:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨