Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?