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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Just shared via Instagram:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Just shared via Slack:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Just landed via WeChat:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Just landed via Twitch:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Taking notes for my next date: destination jazz club. 💃🎷 Guess it's time to swap Netflix for a sax solo! 🎶😄

beautiful, club, dating, humor, jazz, jazz club, problem, taking, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

0

5 months ago

bribe, cat, give, humor, ID, just, meow, meowing, money, pet, stop, told
Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

0

2 months ago

chatting, communication, conversation, having, humor, journey, kind, me, route, scenic, scenic route, taking, talk
Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, bones, break, heart, humor, love, pain, relationship
My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

0

2 months ago

birthday, celebration, everyone, humor, ignore, self-deprecation, wish
I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

0

2 months ago

addiction, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, me, mechanism, smoking, stop, stress, weed
First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, date, first date, funny idea, humor, i, idea, looking, me, rescue, situation, stuck, tree, window, Windows

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

39 shares on X this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Just shared via Slack:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Just landed via WeChat:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Shared recently on Slack:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Shared recently on X:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Just shared via WeChat:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Trending via YouTube:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨