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Commentary:
"Whoops, did my cell phone just ring? Guess it's time to practice my ninja skills and sneak away from it! 📱🙅‍♂️ #AvoidingResponsibilitiesLikeAPro"

cell, cell phone, comedy, distraction, humor, i, irony, phone, put, ring, rings, technology, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

0

2 months ago

favorite, favorite part, humor, i, interruption, music, over, restart, song, talk, talking
I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

0

2 months ago

activity, birdwatching, crisis, escape, gone, hobby, humor, midlife, nature, straight
Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

0

2 months ago

9, coffee, comparison, expense, free, hit, humor, iced, iced latte, latte, luxury, never, office, preference, unfortunately
Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

0

2 months ago

communication, getting, getting left on read, humor, left, me, media, Nigerian, Nigerian prince, perspective, prince, read, relationships, social, social media, texting
Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

0

2 months ago

countryside, england, everywhere, humor, just, rural, rural England, setting, Spider-Man, superhero, transportation, walk
My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

0

2 days ago

couch, cushion, humor, keeping, laziness, relaxation, superpower, warm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

35 shares on Discord this month:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

88 shares on TikTok this month:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

43 shares on X this month:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

68 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Trending via Pinterest:

At least life has music.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Breaking via Threads:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨