Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.
  • How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.
  • Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.
  • Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.
  • I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.
  • I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.