Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Ah, the quintessential adulting experience – aspiring for greatness but ending up as a professional napper instead. 💤 Dream big, folks! 💪😂"

am, aspirations, choices, grow, grow up, humor, i, life, life choices, possibility, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

0

2 months ago

door, encounter, funny encounter, high, high school, i, memory, nostalgia, old, old person, person, school, surprise, today, together
The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

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1 month ago

aging, before, car, enjoyment, fun, getting, getting in, getting out, humor, life, priorities, sports, sports car, trick
Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

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1 month ago

call, calling, calling off, hours, humor, management, procrastination, time, time management, work
Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

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1 month ago

activity, amusement, barber, celebrate, celebration, chair, fun, fun activity, grooming, hair, hair salon, humor, little, moment, pneumatic, pneumatic chair, relaxation, ride, salon, take
If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

0

2 months ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, going, humor, lifestyle, perspective, sh, walk, walking, wear
The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

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1 month ago

behavior, dehumanizing, eat, eating, food, humor, men, nothing, relationship, short, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

19 shares on Slack this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

77 shares on Slack this month:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

94 shares on Threads this month:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

77 shares on Threads this month:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

16 shares on X this month:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Spotted on Twitch:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Trending via Reddit:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Trending via YouTube:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨