Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Spotted on Slack:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Just shared via X:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Live now on Messenger:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Making waves on Facebook:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Breaking via Reddit:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my new dating strategy: just take a really hard nap! 😴💤

asexual, enough, feeling, hard, humor, lock, lock in, sexuality

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

0

1 month ago

dad, every, family, humor, i, mom, parent, reaction, refund, relationship, sarcasm, something, stares, stupid, time, wants
I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

0

2 months ago

20, argument, comments, day, discussion, hello, humor, humorist, i, media, online, online discussion, post, posting, social, social media
Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

0

2 months ago

activity, cooking, curse, curse word, frustration, funny activity, golf, great, humor, lab, learn, learning, new, sport, subconscious, word, words
The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, fortune telling, humor, lady, me, media, miss, said, social, social media, tarot, telling, TikTok
Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

0

2 months ago

dating, forever, honeymoon, humor, humor quote, lasts, love, marriage, partner, phase, pick, relationship, right, romance
Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

0

2 months ago

food, humor, joke, light, lunch, nature, plant, plants, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

99 shares on Slack this month:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

21 shares on Discord this month:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Trending via Instagram:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Making waves on Threads:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Just shared via WeChat:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Just shared via X:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨