Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.