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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Just shared via TikTok:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Seen just now on Slack:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Shared recently on Threads:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Making waves on Snapchat:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Your nose is truly the 'scenter' of attention on your face! 👃🌸 It's where all the sweet smells and sneezes come together in perfect harmony. Just be careful not to follow it too closely or you might end up like Pinocchio! 🤥😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

85 shares on WeChat this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

34 shares on X this month:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I suffer from awesomnia.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Just shared via TikTok:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

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