Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

295 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,564

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,564

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Live now on Threads:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Spotted on Slack:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just make sure it doesn't upset your stomach too! 🍋😂

digestion, gastrointestinal, health, humor, problem, problems, sexual, spiritual

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

2 months ago

encouragement, humor, listen, little, password, security, strong, technology
Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

2 months ago

baking, calling, compliment, cookie, food, food humor, humor, irony, someone, tough, tough cookie, worst, worst cookie
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

2 months ago

activity, camping, company, coverage, fun, fun activity, i, insurance, stolen, tent
We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

2 months ago

addict, addiction, choice, drug, humor, just, life, struggle
Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

5 months ago

avoidance, dealing, Elsa, feelings, freeze, frozen, humor, i, kingdom, level, respect
What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

2 months ago

being, drunk, humor, intoxication, question, right, situation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Just landed via Instagram:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Just shared via X:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Spotted on TikTok:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨