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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Live now on Reddit:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Just landed via Slack:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Making waves on Reddit:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Witty and humorous text about loneliness and mold, with a playful, cheeky vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs friends when you have mold, am I right? 🤣🍄 It will always be there to keep you company, silently judging your snack choices and flourishing in the damp corners of your life. #FungusFriendsForever"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

58 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a very active anti-social life.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Just shared via Twitch:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Seen just now on Slack:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Live now on Messenger:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

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