The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.