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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

4 minutes ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Spotted on X:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Reported on Facebook:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Just landed via Messenger:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Trending via Facebook:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Reported on Facebook:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Jan 22, 2025

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet, refreshing sensation of deodorant post-shave – a true wake-up call for the armpits! 💪🪒 Who knew that feeling alive could involve a spritz of freshness and a smooth shave? It's the little things in life, folks! 😄 #ArmpitAwakening"

alive, armpits, care, deodorant, feel, humor, hygiene, i, personal, personal care, shaving, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
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3 months ago
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3 months ago
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4 weeks ago
Share → : It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?
Jan 26, 2025
Share → : Obituaries should have clickbait titles.
1 week ago
Share → : Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.
4 months ago
Share → : The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!
Jan 24, 2025
Share → : Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

4 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Seen just now on Threads:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Live now on YouTube:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Trending via TikTok:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

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