Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

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The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

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I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

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I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

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My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

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The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.