Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.