Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.
  • Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.
  • Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.
  • When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.
  • I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.
  • What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.