Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.
  • Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.
  • I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.
  • Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.
  • I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.
  • My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.