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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,758

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Just landed via Discord:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Just landed via Messenger:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Just landed via WeChat:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Trending via LinkedIn:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Trending via Threads:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

3 weeks ago

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of vacation – where your mind drifts away to a tropical paradise, but your bowels remain firmly grounded in reality! 💩🏖️ Just when you thought you could leave all your worries behind, your bowels kindly remind you they're not taking a break anytime soon. Happy travels, and may your digestive system be ever in your favor! 😆✈️"

body, bowels, every, except, humor, relax, stress, time, travel, vacation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,725

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Making waves on Telegram:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Live now on Messenger:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Just shared via X:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Freshly posted on X:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Spotted on Reddit:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Live now on Facebook:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

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