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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Aura is the real business card.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Live now on YouTube:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.
When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks, the key to successful mountain climbing is knowing when to…uhm…wait, what was it again? 🤔 Looks like we missed the crucial part of the advice, but hey, who needs complete sentences when you've got a sense of adventure and a good pair of hiking boots? 🏔️😄 #LostInTranslation"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Live now on YouTube:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Trending via LinkedIn:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Just landed via Discord:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Live now on YouTube:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Making waves on Slack:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Going viral on Slack:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

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