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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

24 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Live now on Facebook:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Going viral on Slack:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Reported on X:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Seen just now on Discord:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Live now on TikTok:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Spotted on Telegram:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Making waves on WeChat:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Jan 27, 2025

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive ability to focus and actually complete a task without getting distracted, a rare trait indeed! 🐿️💨 Let's appreciate those task-finishing unicorns in a world full of multitasking squirrels 🦄🤹‍♂️ Keep your eyes on the prize, not on the acorns flying everywhere! 🌰🤪"

comparison, crack, finish, focus, humor, hundred, just, multitasking, once, people, productivity, squirrel, start, task, things, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

24 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Making waves on X:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Just shared via WeChat:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Going viral on TikTok:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Trending via Threads:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

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