My bad habits got renewed for another season.

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I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

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Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

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The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

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I can resist everything except temptation.

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Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

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I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

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SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

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I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

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Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

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You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.