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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

802 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,964

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,964

6 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Spreading quickly via X:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Trending via Twitch:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Broadcasted on Threads:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Seen just now on TikTok:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Trending via X:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Trending via Pinterest:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Live now on Slack:

I will never stop being a quitter!

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

6 months ago

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, in a world full of student loans and avocado toast, why not shake things up with a little extraterrestrial excitement? 👽🌌 Who needs picket fences and white picket fences when you can have laser beams and intergalactic adventures? Beam me up to that American dream any day! 🚀🇺🇸 #ItCameFromOuterSpace

alien, American, American dream, commentary, dream, humor, invasion, life, modern, modern life, new, satire, societal, societal commentary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

802 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,964

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,964

6 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Trending via X:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Breaking via Instagram:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Making waves on Discord:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

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