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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from has downloaded:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from has viewed:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from has downloaded:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from has downloaded:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from has downloaded:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from has shared:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from has viewed:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from has downloaded:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2304 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,466

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,466

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Reported on WeChat:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Spotted on Twitch:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

6 months ago

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Commentary:
"Oh, the irony of prioritizing artificial intelligence over the simple yet crucial task of preserving our beloved fries 🍟! Perhaps we should start a campaign: #SaveTheFries 🤖🍟 Let's hope Silicon Valley gets their priorities straight before we have a world run by genius robots and stale snacks! 😉"